"Eat Before Hunger, Drink Before Thirst"

My college cross-country coach, the late, great, Raven Chiong, would often remind our team to “eat before hunger and drink before thirst.” Her point was that preventing discomfort was actually a more effective way to care for our bodies than waiting until our stomachs were growling or our mouths were parched. Recently I was thinking about how this advice is useful for our overall wellbeing too – not just for physical health.

Too often, I’ve waited until crisis to lean on others or ask for the help I need. I hesitate because I don’t want to be a burden, or because I’m afraid of judgment, or because “other people have it worse so why am I even complaining?” Sometimes, this meant that I bore my daily stressors in isolation and didn’t reach out until it became absolutely necessary; when something went REALLY wrong and I didn’t have a choice to but to let someone know. This was true at work and in my personal life.

But research shows that one of the most effective ways to care for our wellbeing is through connection to a supportive community. In a Canadian study of population health data from 2003 to 2014, researchers found that people with a strong sense of community belonging reported 4.9 times better mental health than people without a connection to community. This research reinforces what we say in many of our trainings at Cypress – that “collective care” is necessary and impactful in a way that self-care cannot always be.

So lately, I’ve been trying to take Coach Chiong’s approach and surround myself with people who care sooner. It’s not easy. Old habits die hard. But what if, in addition to “eating before hunger and drinking before thirst” for my physical health, accepting help when it is offered, and asking for it, even when it’s uncomfortable, supports my overall wellbeing? So far, it seems to be working.

Here are some of the recent ways I have intentionally asked for / accepted help:

• Taking a day off from work to chaperone my son’s field trip, trusting that my team would have my back.

• Checking in with a dear friend every morning to confirm that I’ve taken my prescription medications.

• Posting on my gym’s Facebook group thread to confess that I’ve been feeling unmotivated and asking for support.

• Accepting a friend’s offer to have pizza delivered for my kids’ dinner during a particularly stressful week.

What about you? What are the little ways that you have been leaning on your community lately? Drop your “collective care” wins in the comments below – we’d love to read about them!